Beer Quotes

If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.
Jack Handy

BACK

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut..
Ernest Hemingway

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, That's as good as they're going to feel all day.
Frank Sinatra

Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine.
Davis Moulton

I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
Rodney Dangerfield

There are better things in life than alcohol, but alcohol makes up for not having them.
Terry Pratchett

My Grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
Henry Youngman

I used to think drinking was the only way to be happy. Now I know there is no way to be happy.
Laura Kightlinger

When you stop drinking, you have to deal with this marvelous personality that started you drinking in the first place.
Jimmy Breslin

Pretty women make us BUY beer. Ugly women make us DRINK beer.
Ed O’Neill

I used to think drinking was the only way to be happy. Now I know there is no way to be happy.
Laura Kightlinger

Filled with mingled cream and amber I will drain that glass again. Such hilarious visions clamber through the chambers of my brain -- Quaintest thoughts -- queerest fancies cum to life and fade away; Who cares how time advances? I am drinking ale today.
Edgar Allen Poe

A drunk mans words are a sober man's thoughts.
Steve Fergosi

Everybody has to believe in something.
I believe I'll have another drink.
W.C. Fields

Who does not love beer, wine, women and song remains a fool his whole life long.
Carl Worner

There is nothing for a case of nerves like a case of beer.
Joan Goldstein

In the Bowling Alley of Tomorrow, there will even be machines that wear rental shoes and throw the ball for you. Your sole function will be to drink beer.
Dave Barry

Fermentation may have been a greater discovery than fire.
David Rains Wallace

I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts, and beer.
Abraham Lincoln

Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer.
Henry Lawson

I let my drinking do the talking.
Humphrey Bogart

I like to have a Martini
Two at the very most,
After three I'm under the table,
After four I'm under my host.
Dorothy Parker

Something has been said for sobriety, but very little.
John Berryman