Eerie Hash House Harriers © All rights reserved 2009 Webmistress
Now normally the hare doesn’t write a hash trash about his or her own hash but when does the EH3 ever do anything normally? Chocolate and I spent hours and hours scouting and planning out this hash. Seeing as Miss Tits was turning the big 3-OH we wanted this to be perfect. It seems that our sexy grandmattress was having a tough time with this ground breaking event and had ordered all hashers in attendance to be decked out in black. The awkward thing for the hares was the timing of the sacred event. Being the day after Christmas and on a full moon Sunday we just weren’t sure what kind of attendance we would have. Rising at daybreak we checked and re checked the trail to be sure that everything was good to go. Around 1:30 I drove down to Tits 4 Tots place to picked her perky butt up. Butt first I had to get her outa bed. Seems that Dicks in My Ass had left her alone for a boy’s trip to watch the Steelers play. Depressed she had spent the morning laying in bed watching porn and feeling her self…I mean feeling sorry for herself. Being the resourceful hare, I did what I could to make her feel better and got her dressed, and out the door we went.
As we pulled into Rack and Roll at exactly 2:00 the place was packed. Seems everyone was out supporting the Black and Gold as the pummeled the hapless Ravens. Fittingly enough they all wore black in honor of Miss Tit’s big 3-OH bday. We were greeted by Abused Halter Boy and found Miss Tit’s and Chocolate Starfish at the bar. Tu-Lips was also enjoying a brew. Being in town for the holiday he came out to give his condolences to our over the hill GM. Presently AYT? And Snail on a Rail joined us, as did Sir and HO. Once again Sir was wearing the damned red thong. I swear I’m going to need some serious therapy to get rid of these images. I now have a tough time even looking at a Victoria’s Secrets catalogue without envisioning Sir modeling on the cover. As the gang arrived they showered Miss Libertitties with birthday gifts of booze, candy, porn and lingerie (which she PROMISED to model after consuming the booze and watching the porn.)
Soon chalk talk time arrived. We hares had something special in mind. Instead of laying a traditional trail of chalk, Chocolate had developed a list of clues pointing to the next beer stop. As we bolted from the bar, I asked Choco if the clues were simple enough for the assembled simple minds. He confided that he had even put in bold the name of the next bar. Seeing as half of the Eerie hash auto hashes, we assumed that the gang would simply jump into their cars and meet us at the Greengarden Bowling Lanes. We never even laid a dollop of flour. Choco and I flew into the bowling alley and paid for a set of games and bought the first round of brew. And we waited. And we waited. And we waited. I became concerned that the hash was repeating last week’s shenanigans of not leaving the bar till the Steelers game was over. Hell it was only 9 blocks from the Rack to Greengarden, even a drunken hasher could have drove here by now. As we waited a virgin arrived. It was one of Chocolate’s doctor friends. I never did ask what Shawn specialized in butt he definitely had the attention of all the bowling alley wenches. Meanwhile we waited. Finally I gave up and called HO on her cell. Damn if the hash wasn’t on trail! To my surprise no one was auto hashing!!!!
As we pulled into Rack and Roll at exactly 2:00 the place was packed. Seems everyone was out supporting the Black and Gold as the pummeled the hapless Ravens. Fittingly enough they all wore black in honor of Miss Tit’s big 3-OH bday. We were greeted by Abused Halter Boy and found Miss Tit’s and Chocolate Starfish at the bar. Tu-Lips was also enjoying a brew. Being in town for the holiday he came out to give his condolences to our over the hill GM. Presently AYT? And Snail on a Rail joined us, as did Sir and HO. Once again Sir was wearing the damned red thong. I swear I’m going to need some serious therapy to get rid of these images. I now have a tough time even looking at a Victoria’s Secrets catalogue without envisioning Sir modeling on the cover. As the gang arrived they showered Miss Libertitties with birthday gifts of booze, candy, porn and lingerie (which she PROMISED to model after consuming the booze and watching the porn.)
Soon chalk talk time arrived. We hares had something special in mind. Instead of laying a traditional trail of chalk, Chocolate had developed a list of clues pointing to the next beer stop. As we bolted from the bar, I asked Choco if the clues were simple enough for the assembled simple minds. He confided that he had even put in bold the name of the next bar. Seeing as half of the Eerie hash auto hashes, we assumed that the gang would simply jump into their cars and meet us at the Greengarden Bowling Lanes. We never even laid a dollop of flour. Choco and I flew into the bowling alley and paid for a set of games and bought the first round of brew. And we waited. And we waited. And we waited. I became concerned that the hash was repeating last week’s shenanigans of not leaving the bar till the Steelers game was over. Hell it was only 9 blocks from the Rack to Greengarden, even a drunken hasher could have drove here by now. As we waited a virgin arrived. It was one of Chocolate’s doctor friends. I never did ask what Shawn specialized in butt he definitely had the attention of all the bowling alley wenches. Meanwhile we waited. Finally I gave up and called HO on her cell. Damn if the hash wasn’t on trail! To my surprise no one was auto hashing!!!!
December 26th 2004 Fuck Me I’m 30 Hash
As the crew approached the Alley, Soggy Box and Pinch a Loaf drove by on their way to pick up YTBN Lisa. As soon as Soggy, Lisa and Pinch arrived we all started bowling. Drunken hasher’s bowling, what a sight. While I’m on the subject of Soggy and Pinch some interesting stuff came to light. Seems our GM’s were pressing the cute couple about their New Years plans. More to the point, why the hell were they NOT cumming to our Dickades celebration at the El Patio? Slowly the half-truth came out. Pinchy and Soggy were on their way to Las Vegas to do the Elvis marriage thing. Plying the couple with more beers it also became known that Soggy was carrying twins. Now I have to cum to Soggy’s aid here. The twins that Soggy are carrying around aren’t the tiny little breast-feeding babes but big bouncy double D ear warmers that she keeps tucked away in her running bra. And if you’re a really good hasher she just might show them to ya. But first ya gotta cum to a hash! OR be Pinchy.
Anyways drunken hasher bowling was the name of the game. Things were going pretty well and the pins were dropping. Sir was showing off his form and Tits Tot’s was showing off her form. Pinchy has an unique style where he slides across the approach lane sideways and effectively cleans off all hashers on the lane beside him. Being the responsible hare I was remaining relatively sober. Due to this fact I could do math and noticed that our B-Day girl, Miss Tits, had several strikes in a row. I asked her if she a regular kegler. She replied with that impish grin that she could crack walnuts with her….I interrupted her and asked if she bowled a lot. Slyly she said no, in fact her “high” game to date was 69. How appropriate! Drink a beer, toss a ball. Seemed natural enough for Miss Tit’s and we were glad to watch her form. Meanwhile Tits 4 Tot’s was glad to lend a hand by brushing off Pinchy’s backside after his approach shots. When it came to my turn, I had a tough time finding my ball! Seems Snail on a Rail had taken a liking to my blue ball and was sticking her fingers into it every turn she had. Oh yeah, drunk hashers and bowling. Fame after frame it continued. Still somewhat sober and counting on all ten fingers and toes (I’m not from Corry) it became apparent that Miss Tit was really hot. She had four strikes in a row plus a couple of spares on the side. All the other guys in the alley had cum over and were cheering each of her frames. Or maybe it was her tight little jeans with the black thong showing on the back, who knows. And on we bowled and on we drank. The virgin Shawn was quite impressed with all of our enthusiasm and good cheer. Each attempt at the lane, regardless of success or gutter ball was greeted by high fives and hugs and butt smacks. Now if we could just get the hasherettes to be as warm and friendly as Sir (still wearing that damned red thong). As the last frame and beer were tossed the totals showed what I suspected. Miss Tit’s had bowled a 212 game. This was almost double some of the more regular bowlers’ scores and naturally a new record for the birthday girl. Maybe it was the full moon, or maybe it was the chance to perform before a crowd of leering males, who knows. Perform she had and was applauded by the alley’s regulars. Speaking of performances, somehow Sir was now sporting several dollar bills in that damn red thong he was wearing. I don’t even want to know how he got them…Now it was time for the hash to relocate. Chocolate produced another envelope of clues and out the door we went. The hash followed mainly due to the fact that there was no more beer left. We drove four blocks east to Coach’s and set up shop. It was here that I offered to buy Miss Tits a shot of her favorite to celebrate her record 212 game. As we bellied up to the bar, I mentioned to the bar maid that it was Miss Tit’s birthday. An inebriated Steelers fan turned and asked Miss Tits if she was 23. Much flattered our GM downed her shot and returned to the hashers at the table behind us. I turned and paid our drunken Steelers friend five bucks and went on my way. The things the hares have gotta do to keep things flowing…
We stayed at Coach’s only for a couple before saddling up and driving back to Chocolates and Libertitties place for down downs. As we did the usual intro for the virgin doctor Shawn, all lined up to show our asses for the down down. No sooner had we dropped pants, the virgin bolted out the door! I swear its that damned red thong Sir’s wearing. As might be assumed all the chick hashers were very upset at the loss of such a good-looking male virgin. There was also a schpanking machine assembled to celebrate the BIG 3-OH burfday. Can I say tight jeans and black thong…
All the usual crimes and accusations were celebrated and presently we dinned on Chinese take out. Another first, drunk bowling hashers eating General Chow’s chicken. About this time Dicks in My Ass joined the festivities to rescue Tits 4 Tot’s. Seems he had bought Tits a really swell coat for Christmas and Pinchy was modeling it for the crowd. At least he wasn’t wearing his naked man costume. Things were picking up speed now. Some misguided hashers were feeding Chocolate and Libertitties dog’s beer. Other misguided hashers were feeding Abused Halter Boy beer also with similar results. Now we were joined by Fuck Face and YTBN Joe. We were just getting ready to put the porn into the DVD player when Big Gulp and a very happy Breed a Bull showed up. They had their two tow headed sons with them so the porn was placed on the back burner. Miss Libertitties went into her stash of stuff and gave the young lads a couple of stuffed animals to play with. It should be mentioned here that Breed a Bull also celebrated an OH birthday. While we will celebrate THIS event at Dickades, Libertitties gave Breed a little something to amuse herself with. It was a little talking penis. If you stroked it just right it would respond by saying things (in a high pitched voice) like “my neighbor is an asshole” and other rude and crude sayings. While it made Breed giggle, it really was much too small to hold her attention, and she set it down. Her sons however were curious about it and began to play with it and even asked their mom if they could hang it on their school backpack. Can ya just see Big Gulp and Breed a Bull getting called to the school principals office for a teacher parent conference to address the boy sporting small pink plastic penis’ on their back packs? Nice going Libertitties, corrupting the young boys now. While Ho and I discussed with Breed her big OH birthday, the subject of breast came up (go figure). Let me cut to the chase here. Regardless what it may say on Breed’s driver license, she showed us that things are still perky and fine. Butt you’ll see more on this subject at Dickades.
After a while all the hashers headed home. Seeing as Miss Libertitties wasn’t going to get naked, Sir and I left also. We talked about sneaking around and watching in the windows for further action but I recalled what happened the last time I snuck into a hasherettes window. That freaking four-foot broadsword of Mythdyck’s makes a brave heart break out into a cold sweat. But that was a different hash.
I’ve always said some of the best shit happens on a full moon hash. But ya gotta cum to see it yourself.
That’s the way I remember it and “if it’s written then it becomes gospel”. Ya really should have been there.
Swings both Ways
Anyways drunken hasher bowling was the name of the game. Things were going pretty well and the pins were dropping. Sir was showing off his form and Tits Tot’s was showing off her form. Pinchy has an unique style where he slides across the approach lane sideways and effectively cleans off all hashers on the lane beside him. Being the responsible hare I was remaining relatively sober. Due to this fact I could do math and noticed that our B-Day girl, Miss Tits, had several strikes in a row. I asked her if she a regular kegler. She replied with that impish grin that she could crack walnuts with her….I interrupted her and asked if she bowled a lot. Slyly she said no, in fact her “high” game to date was 69. How appropriate! Drink a beer, toss a ball. Seemed natural enough for Miss Tit’s and we were glad to watch her form. Meanwhile Tits 4 Tot’s was glad to lend a hand by brushing off Pinchy’s backside after his approach shots. When it came to my turn, I had a tough time finding my ball! Seems Snail on a Rail had taken a liking to my blue ball and was sticking her fingers into it every turn she had. Oh yeah, drunk hashers and bowling. Fame after frame it continued. Still somewhat sober and counting on all ten fingers and toes (I’m not from Corry) it became apparent that Miss Tit was really hot. She had four strikes in a row plus a couple of spares on the side. All the other guys in the alley had cum over and were cheering each of her frames. Or maybe it was her tight little jeans with the black thong showing on the back, who knows. And on we bowled and on we drank. The virgin Shawn was quite impressed with all of our enthusiasm and good cheer. Each attempt at the lane, regardless of success or gutter ball was greeted by high fives and hugs and butt smacks. Now if we could just get the hasherettes to be as warm and friendly as Sir (still wearing that damned red thong). As the last frame and beer were tossed the totals showed what I suspected. Miss Tit’s had bowled a 212 game. This was almost double some of the more regular bowlers’ scores and naturally a new record for the birthday girl. Maybe it was the full moon, or maybe it was the chance to perform before a crowd of leering males, who knows. Perform she had and was applauded by the alley’s regulars. Speaking of performances, somehow Sir was now sporting several dollar bills in that damn red thong he was wearing. I don’t even want to know how he got them…Now it was time for the hash to relocate. Chocolate produced another envelope of clues and out the door we went. The hash followed mainly due to the fact that there was no more beer left. We drove four blocks east to Coach’s and set up shop. It was here that I offered to buy Miss Tits a shot of her favorite to celebrate her record 212 game. As we bellied up to the bar, I mentioned to the bar maid that it was Miss Tit’s birthday. An inebriated Steelers fan turned and asked Miss Tits if she was 23. Much flattered our GM downed her shot and returned to the hashers at the table behind us. I turned and paid our drunken Steelers friend five bucks and went on my way. The things the hares have gotta do to keep things flowing…
We stayed at Coach’s only for a couple before saddling up and driving back to Chocolates and Libertitties place for down downs. As we did the usual intro for the virgin doctor Shawn, all lined up to show our asses for the down down. No sooner had we dropped pants, the virgin bolted out the door! I swear its that damned red thong Sir’s wearing. As might be assumed all the chick hashers were very upset at the loss of such a good-looking male virgin. There was also a schpanking machine assembled to celebrate the BIG 3-OH burfday. Can I say tight jeans and black thong…
All the usual crimes and accusations were celebrated and presently we dinned on Chinese take out. Another first, drunk bowling hashers eating General Chow’s chicken. About this time Dicks in My Ass joined the festivities to rescue Tits 4 Tot’s. Seems he had bought Tits a really swell coat for Christmas and Pinchy was modeling it for the crowd. At least he wasn’t wearing his naked man costume. Things were picking up speed now. Some misguided hashers were feeding Chocolate and Libertitties dog’s beer. Other misguided hashers were feeding Abused Halter Boy beer also with similar results. Now we were joined by Fuck Face and YTBN Joe. We were just getting ready to put the porn into the DVD player when Big Gulp and a very happy Breed a Bull showed up. They had their two tow headed sons with them so the porn was placed on the back burner. Miss Libertitties went into her stash of stuff and gave the young lads a couple of stuffed animals to play with. It should be mentioned here that Breed a Bull also celebrated an OH birthday. While we will celebrate THIS event at Dickades, Libertitties gave Breed a little something to amuse herself with. It was a little talking penis. If you stroked it just right it would respond by saying things (in a high pitched voice) like “my neighbor is an asshole” and other rude and crude sayings. While it made Breed giggle, it really was much too small to hold her attention, and she set it down. Her sons however were curious about it and began to play with it and even asked their mom if they could hang it on their school backpack. Can ya just see Big Gulp and Breed a Bull getting called to the school principals office for a teacher parent conference to address the boy sporting small pink plastic penis’ on their back packs? Nice going Libertitties, corrupting the young boys now. While Ho and I discussed with Breed her big OH birthday, the subject of breast came up (go figure). Let me cut to the chase here. Regardless what it may say on Breed’s driver license, she showed us that things are still perky and fine. Butt you’ll see more on this subject at Dickades.
After a while all the hashers headed home. Seeing as Miss Libertitties wasn’t going to get naked, Sir and I left also. We talked about sneaking around and watching in the windows for further action but I recalled what happened the last time I snuck into a hasherettes window. That freaking four-foot broadsword of Mythdyck’s makes a brave heart break out into a cold sweat. But that was a different hash.
I’ve always said some of the best shit happens on a full moon hash. But ya gotta cum to see it yourself.
That’s the way I remember it and “if it’s written then it becomes gospel”. Ya really should have been there.
Swings both Ways