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As we shuttled back to get our cars after a day full of hashing and beer the following quotable remark was uttered by our hare; “The size of my nipples is the least of my problems”. Bet that got your attention! But before we get to the specifics of what lead up to that remark we should start at the beginning…
Saturday is a hashing day. The pack assembled at Hunter’s Inn for Mythdyck’s latest attempt to hare a successful hash. As we all know Mythdycks pervious attempts have resulted in some spectacular results. But I digress…
Joining us at Hunter’s was ARE YOU TALKING, accompanied by YTBN SHERRIE who was sporting a welder’s cap with beagle ears and a dog biscuit around her neck. MÉNAGE A BLOW, BUFFY THE COCKSUCKER and SKUNKY HEINIE rounded out the Corry contingent. PINCH A LOAF AND SOGGY BOX round out the pack. Soggy was sporting a sexy pair of silky cat ears. With so many hashers from south of I-90, it was observed that only our hare actually resided in EERIE. Perhaps the EERIE hash is indeed dying!
After a brew or two, Mythdyck gave us the first set of written instructions. Yes written. The sheet read “Mythdycks Animal Safari…The Back Door Approach to ANimAL Conservation”.
Joining us at Hunter’s was ARE YOU TALKING, accompanied by YTBN SHERRIE who was sporting a welder’s cap with beagle ears and a dog biscuit around her neck. MÉNAGE A BLOW, BUFFY THE COCKSUCKER and SKUNKY HEINIE rounded out the Corry contingent. PINCH A LOAF AND SOGGY BOX round out the pack. Soggy was sporting a sexy pair of silky cat ears. With so many hashers from south of I-90, it was observed that only our hare actually resided in EERIE. Perhaps the EERIE hash is indeed dying!
After a brew or two, Mythdyck gave us the first set of written instructions. Yes written. The sheet read “Mythdycks Animal Safari…The Back Door Approach to ANimAL Conservation”.
Part 1: Need(Foreplay) - Warm Shelter
“All ANimALS need a nice warm habitat to help maintain healthy body temperatures. It should also be somewhat humid and moist to aid in respiration, skin maintenance and well being” – from Mythdycks Bestiality How – To – Guide, pg 169.
“All ANimALS need a nice warm habitat to help maintain healthy body temperatures. It should also be somewhat humid and moist to aid in respiration, skin maintenance and well being” – from Mythdycks Bestiality How – To – Guide, pg 169.
And so we were to begin our trail…. oh did I mention that Mythdyck has just started as a volunteer for the Erie Zoological Society? Wonder if she’s working in the primate section or tending to draft horses??? (Forget it Mythdyck they’re neutered)
After drinking them up, it was outside for chalk talk. But there wood be no “chalk” on trail today. We were given the second sheet of instructions…
Part 2: Need – Natural Habitat
“ A natural habitat is necessary to make an ANimAL feel safe and content. It also helps to facilitate mating & procreation (IE – SEX)”
Hashers like all ANimALS need a safe place to have SEX. Most of the time restroom in a bar will suffice. However in the spirit of safari we’ll observe an outdoor mating habitat.
The rest of the instruction sheet was a hand drawn map ending at the tennis courts north of Frontier Park. (Perhaps this place had a special meaning for our hare). In any event the pack was off. Soggy and Pinch blazed away in the lead. Buffy, Skunkie and I took the middle, with AYT and Sherrie brought up the rear with an injured Blow auto hashing. Whilst we ran west across 26th street our beloved Sir Licks A Lot and HO drove by enroute to Hunter’s. We muttered our amusement that if they expected to find flour on trail, they would be hard pressed! Down Greengarden Blvd we ambled. Across the tracks and onto Frontier Park we pushed with a cruel wind in our faces. I couldn’t help but notice that Skunkie was dressed in cammo pants, a black Halloween t-shirt and brush hat. I assume that under all this Skunkie had some kinda Alaskan sub zero garb on. In case you didn’t know Skunkie spends half of his time working in the oil fields of Prudhoe Bay…. Alaska. Now that’s cold weather this time of year!!! Maybe Eerie seemed warm by cumparison. Anyways we ambled up the slope across the park and saw our hare, the auto hasher and the FRB’s awaiting. While the pack joined up we stood in the parking lot surrounded by soccer moms & their kids equipped with sleds and toboggans. Despite the stares we managed to down a brew or two. Quick cell phone call to Sir and HO reveled they were indeed on foot and somewhere around 22nd and something. Tired of freezing in the brisk air, our hare gave out the next set of written instructions
March 3, 2007 Animal Safari Hash # 463
Part 3: Need – Food and Protection from Predators
“All ANimALS need to eat. They also need a way to keep from being eaten. To this end they have developed many defense mechanism: detachable limbs, poison skin, ANTLERS, and the like…. and so the pack headed east to the end of the trail at Antlers Pub.
The trail was flat and dry and the wind was at our backs. We made good time with Pinchy in the lead. However at West 6th and Sassafras, instead of turning north, Pinch went wild and continued heading east into the distance. Soggy called for Pinch to cum back but it was not to be. To prevent the rest of the pack from making the same mistake, I laid an arrow made of snow onto the sidewalk. Soggy FRB’ed into Antlers where Mythdyck awaited. Much to her horror the bar was closed!!!! Once again the pack re joined and we called an audible to relocate to yet another establishment to quench our thirsts. Scully’s beckoned to us from just down the street and we made a fast move to it.
Now inside the warmth of the bar we sat around the table and swapped a story or two. Skunkie showed off his custom designed boxer shorts. Sir and HO appeared having done the entire trail solo without the aid of either flour or map. Mythdyck had not lost a single hasher in her latest attempt. Our RA Pinch took control of the circle. Down downs were issued as follows.
Hare – Mythdyck and me…cause I laid a snow arrow on the corner.
FRB”S – Pinch and Soggy
DFL – Sir & HO
Tags ect – Blow
Auto hashing – Blow, YTBN Sherrie
Newest Grandparents – Sir & HO
Backsliders – everyone ‘cept HO & me
Not being able to spell their hash names – Skunkie & Mythdyck
Not wear’n anything animal related – me
There were a bunch of other charges but you know me…and then food came and a hush fell over the hash.
Sooooo that’s the way it was. A nice day spent with good friends chasing beer around Erie. As we said our good byes and piled into Mythdyck’s car to shuttle back to Hunters to reclaim our rides, the joke’n continued. It was at the point that Mythdyck issued the statement…. oh wait; if you were there then you know what the deal was all about. If you weren’t there…then it’s your loss! Ya should have been there. Now get out and support you hash.
That’s the way I remember it, so that’s the way it was.
Swings Both Ways
The trail was flat and dry and the wind was at our backs. We made good time with Pinchy in the lead. However at West 6th and Sassafras, instead of turning north, Pinch went wild and continued heading east into the distance. Soggy called for Pinch to cum back but it was not to be. To prevent the rest of the pack from making the same mistake, I laid an arrow made of snow onto the sidewalk. Soggy FRB’ed into Antlers where Mythdyck awaited. Much to her horror the bar was closed!!!! Once again the pack re joined and we called an audible to relocate to yet another establishment to quench our thirsts. Scully’s beckoned to us from just down the street and we made a fast move to it.
Now inside the warmth of the bar we sat around the table and swapped a story or two. Skunkie showed off his custom designed boxer shorts. Sir and HO appeared having done the entire trail solo without the aid of either flour or map. Mythdyck had not lost a single hasher in her latest attempt. Our RA Pinch took control of the circle. Down downs were issued as follows.
Hare – Mythdyck and me…cause I laid a snow arrow on the corner.
FRB”S – Pinch and Soggy
DFL – Sir & HO
Tags ect – Blow
Auto hashing – Blow, YTBN Sherrie
Newest Grandparents – Sir & HO
Backsliders – everyone ‘cept HO & me
Not being able to spell their hash names – Skunkie & Mythdyck
Not wear’n anything animal related – me
There were a bunch of other charges but you know me…and then food came and a hush fell over the hash.
Sooooo that’s the way it was. A nice day spent with good friends chasing beer around Erie. As we said our good byes and piled into Mythdyck’s car to shuttle back to Hunters to reclaim our rides, the joke’n continued. It was at the point that Mythdyck issued the statement…. oh wait; if you were there then you know what the deal was all about. If you weren’t there…then it’s your loss! Ya should have been there. Now get out and support you hash.
That’s the way I remember it, so that’s the way it was.
Swings Both Ways