I don’t know about you, but it seems to me that the best shit happens at the Full Moon Hashes. I arrived at the gathering spot, a vacant parking lot on the east side of Eerie, to find our intrepid hares Pinch a Loaf and Soggy Box standing in the rain. Needless to say they looked a little, well rather soggy!!!
Standing with them was everyone favorite four digit Corry hasher, Menage Blow.  Despite the intermittent downpour they were ginning ear to ear. The source of their amusement was Sir Licks a Lot and HO’s van. To be more precise the wildly bouncing HO van.  It seems that our former GM’s had arrived early and were doing what they do best, banging each other’s brains out.  Shortly Sir and Ho emerged with their best JBF (just been fucked) hair do’s and soggy box…I mean they went over to greet Soggy Box.
About this time Cuminme emerged from the other side of the HO van obviously having enjoyed the free show.   We were joined by A.Y.T? and Snail on a Rail, and a very alone Breed a Bull. Seems she had left Big Gulp somewhere and dropped off the youngins at her parents, looking for a girl’s night out. As we stood in the rain, drinking beer and eating soggy, I mean eating Soggy’s chocolate chip cookies, our new GM’s, Chocolate Starfish and Miss Libbertitties called me on the trusty cell phone. Seems they were lost. But now they were found and joined us shortly. In sloshed YTNB Lisa and Scott and a truckfull of half witts with Inspector Scrubmunchim. Out piled Piehole, Shitface Shuttle, Gayhab and Fuck Swallow Hurl.  The ammsebled half minds all sported various “blue’ adornments as it was the Blue Moon Full Moon Hash.

Pinchy started the festivities by reviewing just what the flour marks would look like on the soggy ground.  Seeing that the marks were actually floating away, Pinch offered to do trail with us. How could we go wrong? We had a live hare! The pack was off with Blow, Chocolate and I leading across the soggy terrain. I couldn’t help but compliment Chocolate on his blue Cher hair wig, blowing in the breeze. Blow gave one of those sideways looks that say’s “I worry about you boy”.  It soon became evident that the recent down pours had washed away all flour so went to visual. That is we followed Pinch as he wove around warehouses and back lots. Presently we came across the local ice skating arena. Outside was a large pile of ICE! An impromptu snowball fight broke out. A snowball fight in July. That’s a once in a Blue Moon event (see hash theme).  Breed a Bull took advantage of me and stuffed a huge slush ball down the back of my hash shorts, resulting in BLUE BALLS! (see theme of hash event). I tossed her over my shoulder and marched over to Chocolate who stuff her shorts full of the icy slush. Touche’….or more correctly BLUE touché!!!(again see theme for hash). Onward we slogged through marsh and field and woods. Past a Vietnamese family farming rice and into a heavily overgrown wood lot.  After fighting off leaches and snakes we emerged into a field full of brown eye susan’s, which Pinch promptly picked a hand full for Soggy. Just that quick it was over. We were once again on McClelleand Avenue and actually finding flour! A few more steps and we found our first beer stop, in front of an abandoned church. Munching soggy, I mean Soggy’s chocolate chip cookies and drinking beer I became aware of just how bad wet hashers smell. At least the rains had stopped and the sun was actually trying to break through.

Once again we were off and found ourselves on East 38th street. Ultimately we found our way down Cooper Road into Wintergreen Gorge. Chocolate and I caught our haress as she tried to carry beer across the wet, I mean soggy terrain. We lugged the cooler about ¼ mile back along the gorge until we were directly under the new Bayfront Highway bridge. Four-Mile Creek runs through here and is usually a peaceful babbling brook. Instead it was now a pulsing torrent of angry brown water. Trees, boulders and a small house crashed by us as we sipped our brews waiting for the remainder of the hash to catch up. One by one they splashed their way in. All except Miss Tits and Pinch. Where could they be? Around the bend Pinch appeared with Miss Libbertittties riding on his back.  Our Gm’stress urged her stead on with wooden branch as a whip…and Pinch was grinning! Lucky dog. Now naturally the assembled half witts began looking for things to toss to the churning mass of water before us. Seeing that there was no one amongst us whom we didn’t like, they instead threw branches, rocks and logs into the water and watched them disappear.  Ho took this opportunity to disappear her self, sneaking away to get  a head start on the next leg of trail. Chocolate and I took off in pursuit. At this point the trail wound its way up the gorge and the hill beside us was a steep 60 yards to the top of the cliff. That’s where we found a check, and HO perched ¾ of the way up the cliff face. We asked “are you on trail?” and she cheerfully responded that there were marks right beside her. Questioning the safety of scaling the near vertical wall of clay, mud, rock and brush we clawed our way up to HO. By now we were joined by Miss Tits, Blow Scott and Lisa, Shitface and our hare, Pinch. After several minutes of crawling up through the mud we reached our HO…only to find that the mark she was grinning about was an “F”. We were fucked! Now faced with the dilemma of risking the final ascent of 20 yards or slip sliding back down the bank to the rest of the hash, we did the hash thing and continued up. The cliff was now near vertical and we grabbed rocks and roots for support. Clinging to the cliff, I accidentally grabbed Miss Tit’s ankle. She kicked me away and said, “this isn’t the time to cop a feel!” I took that as a promise for later. (Wrong) Ho, Miss Tits, Blow, Chocolate, Shitface and Scott and I were the only ones to make the ascent. Never mind we were off trail, we made it! Pinch and Lisa slid back down the bank and were not seen again for the remainder of the hash. Hmmm.

Eventually we wandered across the upper soccer fields of Behrend Campus and found our haress in the Gospel Hill Cemetery.  She was joined by the auto hashers, FSH, Gayhab and Cuminme. Doing the math as we sipped another brew it was determined that Soggy had lost 10 out of 19 hashers. Now while 10% is considered normal, this was new territory. During the course of conversations, Shitface started to tell a story about Inspector shaving his nipples. Way too much information! Blow gave us one of those side ways glances that says “I’m really beginning to worry about that boy”. Chocolate, Miss Tits, Blow and I took this opportunity to head off on the remaining leg of  trail. Rounding a curve we saw Breed a Bull sprinting towards us. She had been lost and tried to make friends with anyone she saw, to no avail.  Now that she found us she babbled on about having to do Blow because she was lost. She also gushed about having an orgasmic experience when she found us.  Blow grinned and Choco and I exchanged that sideways glance that meant, “I’m really beginning to worry about that girl”.

Never less we continued down the trail, along the railroad tracks sharing the night as only hashers can. Presently the four of us arrived at the on in. It was at Soggy’s place. And surprise all the auto hashers were there! I do believe that Blow, Breed a Bull, Miss Tits, Chocolate and I were the ONLY ones to do the entire trail!!!

Now here is the really great part. As we assembled at Soggy’s place, covered in mud, goo and other such stuff, I said to Soggy “ you really don’t want us in your place smelling like this”. She smiled and said “ we’re not going into my apartment. I found where they hide the key for the vacant apartment next door!”
So we ate and drank and partied and did down downs in the vacant apartment next to Soggy Box’s place. The Eerie Hash hasn’t done a Breaking and Entering since that fateful night we did the B&E at Mythdyck’s place.  We’ll never learn.

All the usual down downs took place and I won’t bore you with the details. However one does more than deserve a mention.  Seems that YTBN Lisa left a lot of clothes at the Red Dress Hash. Specifically her Victoria Secret Red bra, panties and garter belt. Happy for the return she willingly modeled them for all.
Guess ya should have been there. Something always happens at the Full Moon Hash!
Swings Both Ways