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August 27th 2005 The Hee Haw Hash #414
At one point on trail Pheobe had made a cumment about her changing her hair color to blonde again. She had blurted out that she had becum “STUPID AGAIN”. It stuck and the hash anointed her that hash name. Now it was Bill’s turn. The week before, at T.V’s full moon hash, I had several possible names bantered around. During the feeding and before down-downs began, Bill had cleared the room with some extremely foul butt gasses. I figured that was the way the hash was headed (head…who said head?!?) with the naming. Oh how wrong I was!!! In some moment of wisdom and drunken brain cell loss, Bill became…”SLUTTY McCUMSTEIN”. To everyone’s surprise, he didn’t take well to that name. As a matter of fact, he turned to his tent and began a 45 second evacuation drill. Air mattress’, sleeping bags, coolers and tent were dismantled and thrown into his truck. T.V. went over and tried to talk Slutty…err Bill down from his great piss off. This only seemed to worsen the matter. I tried to talk to Stupid Again…err Phebe but the deal was done. The last we saw of the duo was Slutty…err Bill storming back into the barn and grabbing two half eaten bags of ‘tater chip off the table. I guess they really like their Troyer Chips. Somewhat stunned by this course of events, the hash grew quite. T.V. spoke up and said that they were his virgins and if they couldn’t take a joke, well then fuck them. With that we drank. And seeing as none of us were driving we drank some more. Out came the beer pong table and the out of towners challenged Eerie with predictable results. Around this time our HO appeared and we spent little time getting her up to speed…and drunk. As a matter of record HO became the life of the party, making sure that no one fell asleep too early in the party. But as in all things, the party finally dwindled down and the hash settled into bed (again). The lights went out, and the snoring began. I know that I have a strong ability to shake the rafters with the best of them. But compared to Dick Long and Perspire I am but a simple amateur. I truly thought that Dick Longs baritone log sawing was gonna knock the shingles off the roof. Even the bats that were previously winging around the barn vacated for quieter locals.
As the sun woke up the hung over hashers, DIMA and TITS 4 TOTS return to the hash barn with breakfast of egg soufflés. YUM YUM! We sat around nursing our headaches and discussed the evening’s festivities. One thing about hashes. If you didn’t have fun you didn’t try hard enough. So congrats are due to Soggy and Pinchy for the purchase of the new hash barn, it’s a great setting. You guys threw a hell of memorable hash. If you missed it, it’s all your fault
That’s the way it was, at least the parts that I can recall. If you think you can do better than you should be writing these damn things.
I am Swings Both Ways
As the sun woke up the hung over hashers, DIMA and TITS 4 TOTS return to the hash barn with breakfast of egg soufflés. YUM YUM! We sat around nursing our headaches and discussed the evening’s festivities. One thing about hashes. If you didn’t have fun you didn’t try hard enough. So congrats are due to Soggy and Pinchy for the purchase of the new hash barn, it’s a great setting. You guys threw a hell of memorable hash. If you missed it, it’s all your fault
That’s the way it was, at least the parts that I can recall. If you think you can do better than you should be writing these damn things.
I am Swings Both Ways
