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SATURDAY IS A HASHING DAY! The weather was great, chilly enough to whisk away the sweat from hiking up all those damn hillbilly hills…. But those details later. With Cum In Me as my co-hare, we just finished the final touches for the Hillbilly Hash when the first arrival appeared – and it was Pittsburgh! Hung Like This and European Whore pulled in – followed by Peedr Pants and Manties. The next to arrive was Soup from Buffalo! (I’m glad Eerie rounded up a small crew of hashers – Sir, Ho, TV and Me – to go to the Wednesday night Mission Impossible Hash in Buffalo. We saw many Buff Hashers there but only Soup had the GUTS to drive to Eerie and do trail!) Other Eerie hashers on hand were: TV, Schlabotnik and Beer Tool, Swings, AYT and Fidela Castrated, Soggy Box & Pinch A Loaf, Brokeback Mounter and Ram Ridin Momma, Just Jeanie, Just Jen and Just Jose, Pet Her Peter, Just Peter, and Eerie’s newest hasher (straight from Shanghi – Unsolicited Sex! OK – LET’S HASH!
After a short circle introducing ourselves to all the out-of-towners, and then another short circle introducing ourselves to all the out-of-towners – the hashers were sent out on trail after being told to “watch for the Special Mark ( a circle with a dot in the middle – no not a boob check – but you’re welcum to show them anyway. This mark was meant to stop the pack, wait until everybody was together and take a group picture). So the hashers take off on the 2.5 mile leg – cover 2 big hills and 1 crazee kick-your-ass, what-the-fuck-was-she-thinking-that-fucking-crazee-bitch hill that SHOULD have slowed down even Pinchie – but Noooooooo. As I pulled into the 1st Beer Stop and layed a quick backcheck up the next hill – who do I hear coming out of the woods? There is NO WAY IN HELL somebody could be here already! But damn if it wasn’t Pinch A Loaf! Damn – Damn – Damn! Apparently he did not see the “Special Mark” – and as TV, Soggy, Unsolicited Sex, Soup, Just Peter and Swings arrived, I was beginning to wonder if the half bag of flour I used to make the mark got washed away? But, after another half hour the other hashers began arriving – explaining that they used up all the film at the picture point waiting for some of the walkers to arrive – so there WAS a mark! Hah! Somebody is doing down-downs! Damn Eerie hashers – can’t follow erections!
Then, an auto hashing VIRGIN Char arrived! Yeah! A VIRGIN (well, kind of) – this will be fun! As the hashers are given their 5 minute warning – shouts of ON-ON were heard coming from the woods. Who could it be? Everybody is here! Well all-be-horn-swaggled if it ain’t Sir and HO! A little late – that’s just not like them! So after another quick beer the hashers were introduced to another rarely used mark in Eerie – the backcheck!
After sending them on their way up the hill – to find the backcheck 5 which brought them right back to the beerstop and an arrow showing them true trail – a short 1 mile jog led them to the next beer stop – by a beautiful babbling brook bubbling beautifully between big boulders. Setting off on the third leg – the hashers were led into the woods – which turned out to be another crafty backcheck 10 – which brought them right back to the beer stop again and an arrow showing them true trail – up another damn hillbilly hill to the last beer stop. The pack piled into the trucks and were swept away to the on-in – where Pinchie led us in Circle.
After a short circle introducing ourselves to all the out-of-towners, and then another short circle introducing ourselves to all the out-of-towners – the hashers were sent out on trail after being told to “watch for the Special Mark ( a circle with a dot in the middle – no not a boob check – but you’re welcum to show them anyway. This mark was meant to stop the pack, wait until everybody was together and take a group picture). So the hashers take off on the 2.5 mile leg – cover 2 big hills and 1 crazee kick-your-ass, what-the-fuck-was-she-thinking-that-fucking-crazee-bitch hill that SHOULD have slowed down even Pinchie – but Noooooooo. As I pulled into the 1st Beer Stop and layed a quick backcheck up the next hill – who do I hear coming out of the woods? There is NO WAY IN HELL somebody could be here already! But damn if it wasn’t Pinch A Loaf! Damn – Damn – Damn! Apparently he did not see the “Special Mark” – and as TV, Soggy, Unsolicited Sex, Soup, Just Peter and Swings arrived, I was beginning to wonder if the half bag of flour I used to make the mark got washed away? But, after another half hour the other hashers began arriving – explaining that they used up all the film at the picture point waiting for some of the walkers to arrive – so there WAS a mark! Hah! Somebody is doing down-downs! Damn Eerie hashers – can’t follow erections!
Then, an auto hashing VIRGIN Char arrived! Yeah! A VIRGIN (well, kind of) – this will be fun! As the hashers are given their 5 minute warning – shouts of ON-ON were heard coming from the woods. Who could it be? Everybody is here! Well all-be-horn-swaggled if it ain’t Sir and HO! A little late – that’s just not like them! So after another quick beer the hashers were introduced to another rarely used mark in Eerie – the backcheck!
After sending them on their way up the hill – to find the backcheck 5 which brought them right back to the beerstop and an arrow showing them true trail – a short 1 mile jog led them to the next beer stop – by a beautiful babbling brook bubbling beautifully between big boulders. Setting off on the third leg – the hashers were led into the woods – which turned out to be another crafty backcheck 10 – which brought them right back to the beer stop again and an arrow showing them true trail – up another damn hillbilly hill to the last beer stop. The pack piled into the trucks and were swept away to the on-in – where Pinchie led us in Circle.
DOWN DOWNS:
1. For too many backchecks, too many hills, and not enough no-bakes – Crazee Pong Bitch and Cum In Me
2. Out of Towners – Pittsburgh Crue: European Whore, Hung Like This, Peed’r Pants and Manties. Buffalo Crue: Soup
3. Backsliders – Everybody except Swings, TV, Crazee, Pinch, Soggy, Schlabotnik & Beer Tool (you all missed a great Breed-A-Gulp Picnic) – except when ONE HARE DRINKS – ALL HARES DRINK – so chug-a-lug Crazee, but lose that hat cuz it’s bad luck – do another down-down dumb ass!
4. Not Named Yet – Just Jen, Just Jose, Just Peter, Just Jeanie
5. Named But No Tag – Brokeback Mounter and Ram Ridin Momma
BROKEBACK MOUNTER AND RAM RIDIN MOMMA GOT THEIR TAGS!!!
6. Auto Hashers – The Whole Damn Hash
7. FRB – Pinch A Loaf & TV
8. DFL – Ram Ridin Momma, Fidela Castrated
9. Anyone who has hashed in Asia – Unsolicited Sex & TV
I started drinking tequila about half way through down downs so it’s all pretty hazy – in fact I’m just making half this shit up – but what the hell – nobody really reads this shit anyway. Let’s eat! My spread was hot. My spread was delicious. It was a little spicy, a little sweet, always always fun to eat – my spread just can’t be beat.
Let’s play beer pong! Ok, I have to say it’s the first time I played beer pong where my opponent was actually trying to use his weiner (aka: dick, cock, penis, Johnson, zipper hoagie, pleasure stick, purple headed yogurt thrower, jizzlobber, bang cannon….) – it wasn’t helping him out any. But Virgin Char found it hilarious! Unsolicited Sex and Pinchie took turns leading many rounds of singing and we learned a lot of new songs from Sex. I love Sex Songs.
RU?
Crazee Pong Bitch
Septembeer 15th 2007 - Picadilly Hillbilly Hash
